Memoires

When I wake from a nights rest, now and then I feel low in spirits or there are the times when I see a image or hear a song that reminds me of you.
my heart just brakes, the tears come....rolling down my face.
I don't take the time to wipe them away

People tell me this is normal, that I just need time, and things will get better.
but it wont, not for a long time. And to tell you the truth I don't want it to...
I don't want to come to a point that i cant remember the look on her face or how good of a friend she was too me!
I don't want to forget the the adventures we had or the memories we shared.

So stop telling me to forget. That you have other friends that can fill the space in your heart
truth is no one can fill this space
it only meant for you

So I let the tears fall
I let my heart break
I let my memories stay
And i know that i will see you again


love ken
in memory to kiya

Leave Me Standing

You leave me standing here all alone. 

Thinking of the past we shared.

The conversation had,

Laughs given,

Kisses.

You leave me wishing I had been more caring.

Hoping you will once return.

Jumping to conclusions,

Hushing the negative thoughts,

Missing.

You leave me here to regain strength.

To move on from the violent past.

Growing everyday.

Smiling more often.

Living.

Welcome Summer.

Dear Summer,

I know it's scary to come out of hiding; but don't be. You have anxious kids all over this country just waiting for you to show up. We welcome you with open arms. We have made many plans to engage in the warmth of your sun. Vacations made to enjoy the beaches. Summer I don't think you realize your importance. We don't like the snow, we just deal with it. Speaking for myself, I much prefer you. Please come and let us all create memories in the glorious season. Release us from the stress of the everyday life. Bring your happy spirit and spread it across the world. If anything I will be here to stand by you. Winter and Spring have paid their dues and now it's your time to shine. Wherever you are, come out soon because the anxiety is becoming overwhelming. 

Anxiously,

Caity

The Old Man Sits

Withered from the years, the old man sits.
He sits on the rocking chair that him and his wife bought when they first got married.
His beautiful wife. His life long friend.
When they got married she told him she would never leave him,
and here he is sitting alone.

When they got married she wore the most beautiful white lace dress,
it was her grandmothers.
He wore an old moth eaten tuxedo that he found at a pawn shop.
As they said I do and kiss

They move into their first house.
The paint would become yellow the kitchen would look well used.
The wood floors would become scratched because of the furniture.
Their love would make the house a home.

Their children would come running through the halls.
Little footsteps and hand prints would be found all over.
Adorable giggling could be heard every twenty seconds.
The joy was unexplainable.

The kids grow old and they stand at their weddings.
They wave goodbye to their children for they know they will see them soon.
Grand kids would then enter into their lives bringing them a new love and hope for the future.
Things to remember.

The worst year this granddad could have. Happened.
His best friend that he had for years had left him in the night.
Her last breaths were drawn and in the morning all was left was her cold body.
His loving wife was gone.

He sits thinking of mistakes and regrets.
He thinks of the future he has left for his children.
He thinks of the love and legend he has left behind.
Withered from the years, the old man sits.

Love you grandpa,
Caity

down by the sea:)

running through the sand, making you run faster and harder.

feeling the waves on your feet pulling you towards the mysterious waters.

finding the shells with a unique design for someone.

getting trapped in the seaweed which always seems to find you.

seeing the lonely fish that can't seem to find home.

noticing you.

racing through the sand which tries to keep me from you.

fighting the waves so I it can pull me away.

collecting the shells as a gift of my admiration of your beauty.

battling the seaweed so i can hold your hand.

seeing the lonely fish spotting his love, as i have.

noticing you.

walking through the sand which keeps our foot prints.

dancing in the waves as they surround us with wonder.

saving the seashells for the next lovers.

keeping the seaweed as a reminder of everyone else.

seeing the fish swimming with his wife.

noticing us. 

down by the sea

where i notice you, noticing me, noticing us. 

lovingly,

caity

The little girl who asked God who she was supposed to be, was me. I am still that little girl. I am the little girl who sits on the lawn on a cloudy day asking God to guide her on her way. My little fragile hands didn't seem like they could give service to those around me. My little feet could not seem to be steady enough to lead on a path for others to follow. My mind could not comprehend the advice that would spread across my lips to help a fallen friend. It was all just a dream. In the softened trees swaying to the wind, I heard his answer. He knew I could do all these things and it wasn't just a dream. His smile showed through the showing of sunlight through the clouds. I still become that little girl who prays and dreams. God however, silently lets me know the answers in the graceful rainfall or the whispering of the wind.

Cordially yours, 

Caity

light at the end

     Closing my eyes.... I can still feel the turn of the mountain, see the fresh powder surrounding me, hear the edges of my skies grinding into the frozen snow, feel the strength of my knee! but then my eyes open. Its all gone, my feet on planted on hard cold ground, snows not enclosing on me, I can't hear the calming sounds of melted slicing through frozen snow, my knee is week and the acl is torn. I'm cut from the world of skiing. There's a big hole in me, nothing can sew the gaping hole together. Then I remember its not the end of the world! My knee will heal. There's a light to the end of this tunel. I will get out and be a stronger person and better skier! Nothing can hold me back.  

Naturally,                                                                                                                                                       Ken

 

The Beaten Path.......

We all walk our own path. My path has been one filled with cracks, potholes, chaotic weather and screwing the world and dancing in the rain moments. Cracks. Those stupid lines that seem to ruin a day. Cracks are never one to be avoided or overlooked. They start small but over time and with some avoidance they seem to be more and more apparent  that they will not go away. Example of a crack in my life. With me rebelling against my mother throughout my younger years brought me to getting into a car accident. With what started out as a little "I won't take out the trash just because you told me to", turned into "I am going to drive this car, because I know what I'm doing". Potholes are somewhat bigger. We notice them and steer away from them, afraid they will ruin the alignment. Well let me tell you, my alignment has needed to be fixed more than once. Example of a pothole in my life. One careless decision of "friends" cost me horrible punishments later. Grounded for one week, then two.....getting the picture? Chaotic disasters are something that occurs on every path. Sometimes these thunderous storms require friends and family to help you get through. Example of a storm. Realizing that every "Father's Day" I don't really have a father to give my love to. Not really ever being able to get a daddy's blessing or a father's hug. Dancing in the rain is what I try and live for. No perfect moment ever stays so when a bad one comes along do we let in rain until we are soaked so much we begin to drown. Sometimes! Other times however, we do put on our big girl panties and dance in the rain. We realize that if we make some good out of the situation it's not that bad. These times I thank my good Lord that he gave me thunderstorms:)

All of this said......At the end of my beaten path I want to be hand in hand with my friends and family, ready to face what's next. 

The Infamous,

Caity

friends!!!

There are many things that are said that make a person a true friend! The question is, does your true friend fit into that places... Area! you know what i mean. well any ways. When I think of a true friend, and what makes one... Caity pops into my head. To me Caity is was a true friend should be. If you true friend isn't like Caity well that sucks for you! I'm just joking with you! True friends are there when you need them and even when you don't, they never lie to spare you feelings, they can be harsh but its a good thing. There always there to make you laugh and somethings get you mad, but you can help but love them in the end! they're to listen and to hold you when you cry. They're always with you when you do something really dumb, but they're there to give a helping hand! When you find your true friend don't let go, you might not find them again!

couple act happy and singles act sad!!

valentines day is when every girl want a boyfriend and every boy just wants to hook up and the girls that have a boyfriend get roses and chocolates and the boys well i don't know how they feel!valentines day is the worst day of the year! The happy couples are skipping around carrying balloons and roses, with big smiles on their faces. O and lets not forget about the single people! They are the ones popping your balloons!!!  They are walking around pissed at the world and asking when the day shall end! Blch!!!!!!  most of the time i just want to scream. GET OVER IT!!! You don't need love to be happy, you can be just as happy single! look at me im so happy!! no one holding me back! and even if I had a man in my life i would act like valentines day isn't really. so lets just forget about this worthless day and move one!

well here ends my rate and rave thanks for reading!!

from

ken

Dear Mr. Valentine.....

Dear Mr. Valentine,

Dear Mr. Love who is waiting for me. I know that waiting for me to realize your existence is frustrating, but keep giving me time. Keep letting me figure out what I want to do in life, and when I want to settle down. Keep waiting for me to continue to laugh at your jokes while you silently wish I would tell you "I love you".   I am sorry for being indecisive and not understanding that what I am searching for isn't quite right. For letting other idiots into my life that do nothing but break my heart. It's hard to believe that you won't; even though it's true.Thank you for being there to make me feel comforted and loved. Someday I will be ready for you, and I hope you will still be there.


Sincerely,
Caity

Life As We Knew It.

I was looking at childhood photos, I began thinking to myself. Where has my life taken me. Think about. One moment we are in elementary school, waiting to get out; the next minute we are in high school. I think of the laughs I had created and shared, the tears I cried because the world I lived in would end in that moment. A simple blink and you are 16. It makes me scared to blink. Scared to continue in the future fearing that I will miss my past too much. However, the other side wants me to blink, so that I can begin my adventure of my future. I guess the answer to this riddle is to simply take blink at a time. Living the cliche "life to it's fullest". 

Simplest,
Caity

Caitlin!!!

"You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend."
- Tom Petty 

Dear people,

Caitlin is many things to me. But the most important one is, she is my best friend. When you look at Caitlin all you see is love, kindness, all her personality and hotness hehe :) She is the one person to snap me out of my weird moods that seem to come on me out of the blue. She keeps you on your feet at all times. For all you know she could kick your feet out from underneath you! Just to put a smile on your face and to be able to make fun of you.Caitlin will be by your side through thick and thin and even the up and downs. ya she is amazing let me tell you! I love you caitlin thanks for being in my life! Happy friendship anniversary

love kendra 

Kendra.......

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
- Anon

Dear World:

    Kendra is a friend you can depend on. She is the kind of person that will be for you, when no one else is. When you need to smile she is there to tell a joke or a funny dream. Kendra is the kind of girl that keeps life full of surprises. One day she might run through a red light just to give you a thrill:) I love her and I am lucky to have her in my life. Life is never a dull moment when I am around her. When you are friends with Kendra you are guaranteed a big hug and some Ramen. Kendra Wood is my best friend and I will always love her. Happy Best Friend Anniversary love!

Love Caity!


P.S. She loves red:)